Scaling the Hills: Stephanie

In anticipation of the Hills series finale, I'm taking an in-depth look at each of the show's primary (meaning, they made the opening credits) cast members, in order to discern what about them (if anything) made for good TV.

We begin with Stephanie Pratt.

Reason for Appearing: Stephanie joined the show late in Season Three, when the majority of the cast refused to film with Heidi and Spencer. Initially, she yelled at Lauren and Audrina in a club, leading Lauren to dub her the "She-Pratt."

Major Storylines: Her burgeoning friendship with Lauren (despite the fact that she still associated with Heidi and Spencer); her betrayal of Lauren by means of secretly dating Lauren's ex-boyfriend, Doug; her suffering continued verbal abuse at the hands of her brother, Spencer; Brody's continued efforts to convince everyone of her insanity; her lame, brief attempt at working for Kelly Cutrone; her lame attempts at meeting men without the aid of alcohol.

Off-Camera Drama: Stephanie has perhaps the most checkered past of any Hills cast member. Her autobiography includes: crystal meth addiction, a stint in rehab due to crystal meth addiction, an arrest for shoplifting, bulimia (which she claims she developed on the show because the other girls' physiques made her feel fat), and an arrest for DUI.

Judgement Day: No one can say Stephanie doesn't work hard. The girl has seriously hustled for that opening credits spot (allotted to her in Season Six, Episode 5, the first episode in the post Heidi and Spencer era). She changes hats faster than Heidi changes faces in order to stay relevant. Do you need someone to yell at Lauren in a club? She'll do it. Do you need someone to act like Heidi and Spencer's relationship is grounded and cute? She'll do it. Do you need someone to pretend she started rumors about Kristin's drug abuse? She'll do it. Do you need someone to commit the Cardinal Sin of dating one of Lauren's exes without permission? She'll do it. Do you need someone to commit the other, bigger Cardinal Sin of inviting Heidi to Lauren's own birthday party? God damn, she'll do it.

Though Stephanie's antics have been wildly inconsistent, she's actually been one of the show's more vital cast members in its later seasons. For a long period (the latter half of Season Three, most of Season Four) she served as the only link between Heidi and Spencer and the rest of the cast, ferrying information from camp to camp like a thief in the night. By far, her greatest skill lies in her ability to start shit for absolutely no discernible reason other than the producers' whims. Stephanie doesn't care about her image, she just cares about having one. Her general lack of self-esteem, and high emotional pain tolerance make her a perfect Hills second-stringer. Even though the other girls continually treat her like a puppy that won't stop peeing on the floor, she'll always be glad for the attention.

Verdict: Stephanie is annoying, clueless, and an unapologetic troublemaker, but the show has needed her in recent years. Would I want to hang out with her in real life? No, but the girl has helped to make some good TV.