TV time.

The City: While The Hills has started to feel dated and forced, the adventures of Whitney, Roxie and company feel fresh and authentic. It helps that Whitney and Roxie are actually friends, and that Whitney really is trying to start a fashion line. The major fault of this show's Los Angeles counterpart was the producers' decision not to acknowledge the cast's celebrity status on camera. Here, Whitney doesn't have to pretend she works at People's Revolution, since Kelly really is helping her launch a career as a designer. Furthermore, Whitney has improved leaps and bounds in her role as the series' star. Her obvious disdain for her pretentious blind date, and the look on her face when Zach (Roxie's date) showed up to the bar with six other girls, were priceless, and the kind of moments she hasn't allowed herself before now. She's finally started to let her personality show, and that has made all the difference.

Glee: "Ballad" was easily my least favorite episode to date. On the plus side, I loved Brittany's throwaway moment of hilarity ("I bet the duck is in the hat"), and Matthew Morrison is probably the only cast member who can match Lea Michele vocally (leading to their beautiful rendition of "Endless Love"). My major concern with "Ballad" was the horrendous characterization of nearly every female character. I found Will's performance of "Young Girl/Don't Stand So Close To Me" utterly insulting, as if his magic singing penis could actually reduce both Rachel and Emma to complete doe-eyed idiocy. His "all these girls are so fragile and crazy" comments didn't help either; they just made him look like a douche. The constant use of the word "crazy" to describe any woman with either strong emotions, or a mind of her own, was gross. For a show that's usually forward-thinking, this was a major step back. Welcome to 2009, Glee writers, you can no longer shrug off a woman's point of view as hormonal hysterics.

The Hills: Is Kristin thinner now than during her Laguna Beach days? I can't get over how long her neck looks. Anyway, popular culture continues to dismantle the feminist movement piece by piece, as Heidi plots to stop taking her birth control in order to "surprise" Spencer with a baby. Her seduction methods include cooking him pasta and dressing like a hooker. This storyline is so obviously fake it's a joke. You can practically see Heidi reading off the cue cards as she teases Spencer with promises of "dessert." On top of that mess, Kristin and Jayde proceed to spend the episode flouncing around L.A. calling the other "crazy" to whoever will listen (or is getting paid to pretend like they care). Though Canadian Jayde telling Kristin to "go back where [she] came from" (um, Malibu?) was an unintentional highlight.

Modern Family: I didn't laugh out loud this week, what the hell? This might be another show I stop writing about, since I never have much to say about it besides "it's good." It's hard to write about a comedy without simply listing the things I found funny; there's not as much to analyze besides whether or not the jokes worked. In that vein, my favorite part of the episode was Alex convincing Luke that Jay was terminally ill. That girl loves to fuck around with her siblings, with consistently hilarious results.