Song for you.

TV time.

Glee: Oh hello, Glee! I missed you. "Hell-o" felt like a season premiere, as the writers reintroduced the major characters (Will, Rachel, Finn, and Sue) and shuffled them into place. Similar to the pilot, a lot happens here. I'm thrilled with the addition of Jonathan Groff to the cast - his voice matches Lea Michele's in ways Cory Monteith's never will, and the pair have excellent chemistry. Unfortunately, "Hell-o" also contained a hearty dose of sexism, as Will and Finn strive to find their special snowflake selves despite the "craziness" of the women around them. When Emma told Will "maybe you're trading [Terri's] crazy for my crazy," I almost gagged (I also want to punch Matthew Morrison whenever he makes his "Maybe You're Right That I Am Actually Too Good for You" Face). As usual, I loved Brittany ("Did you know that dolphins are gay sharks?") the most. Next week, this.

Fables #94

King Cole: If you're going to indulge in the messy world of real-politics, Ozma, you've an important lesson to learn - forgiveness only accompanies success. Failure is still and always a crime.

The Unnamed

If Joshua Ferris' first book took a while to grab me (and ultimately, won me over), his second novel, The Unnamed, had me, and then lost me somewhere west of the Rocky Mountains. Initially, Ferris portrays Tim's disease as a tragic disruption of everyday life. A high-powered attorney, Tim walks out in the middle of trial. His wanderings force his wife, Jane, to scour area hospitals and police stations, searching for her wayward husband. He undergoes bizarre tests that leave him home alone watching TV with his overweight, distant daughter. The books begins as a portrait of privileged, suburban life, disrupted by the suddenness of illness. Tim's body does dangerous, unhealthy things he cannot understand; his condition throws his life into chaos.

To Max Records.

I know you are just a kid, but I kind of wanted to slap you for the last third of Where the Wild Things Are. You kept making that same "I Don't Understand These Unintended Negative Consequences of My Actions" Face, and it seriously bugged. I still liked the movie, though (Becca explains why, here). I especially loved Lauren Ambrose's line reading of "They're these really good friends of mine." KW's on-again off-again teen snobbery matched Max's little kid left behind frustration perfectly.

Uncanny X-Men #523

Color me surprised by the number of plot developments that occurred in this issue (the second chapter of Second Coming). Not only did Cyclops admit his role in the formation of X-Force to an increasingly irate Nightcrawler, but the Alpha Squad (pictured here) actually found Cable and Hope (the supposed mutant messiah recently returned from the future).

That said, it's not a very fun time to be an X-Man. The mutant species is on the brink of extinction, a futuristic cyborg (Bastion) has amassed an army of racists who want nothing more than to wipe them off the planet, and their leader (Cyclops) has resorted to sending teenage girls turned living weapons (X-23) into battle with a license to kill. It's all rather dour. The entire line needs some levity before the reading experience becomes as depressing as the stories themselves.

Song for you.

April playlist now posted (with links).

TV time.

Survivor: Goodbye, Boston Rob. At least you left with one of the best exit lines in recent memory (to Coach, "you're a little man"). I was definitely rooting for the Rob/Courtney/Sandra alliance to prevail, but I understand Jerri's decision to side with Russell/Parvati/Danielle. At the end of the day, I'd certainly rather be sitting next to some combination of the latter three (with the exception of Parvati, who is just as dangerous a threat as everyone has made her out to be; she not only plays the game, but the entire construct of the show. You want a te-he "black widow" type? She'll give you one, and then she'll win the whole damn thing [Apparently, I have a lot to say about Parvati]). Russell is a gifted strategist, but he has no idea how to play the social game. He's the ideal final two or three partner because he will get you to the end making big, bold moves that drive people to hate his guts.

"Everybody is saying . . .

. . . that you're doing drugs!"

Here we go.

This is going to be one of my "written in a fervor of idealism" posts. By now, regular readers have likely realized a few of my Hot Topics - the rights of women and gay dudes. More often than not, I stray away from the personal/political on this blog because a) I get preachy pretty quick and b) it's easier to write about The Hills than the complexities of human sexuality on a regular basis. Today, however, I can't help but toss Heidi and Spencer aside, in favor of a more complicated/less plastic discussion.

The long goodbye.

MTV announced today that the impending sixth season of The Hills will be the series' last. I am in a few minds about this. When the cast has to pretend they aren't D-list celebrities, the show loses any semblance of "reality." The producers took this attitude too far with Kristin's relationship with Justin. Kristin, Justin, and Audrina were seen talking, laughing, and enjoying each others' company after the season five finale - their love triangle was almost entirely fabricated in the service of "good" TV.

Song for you.

Of note.

The awesomeness of Gabby Sidibe:

“They try to paint the picture that I was this downtrodden, ugly girl who was unpopular in school and in life, and then I got this role and now I’m awesome. But the truth is that I’ve been awesome, and then I got this role."

I want to go to margarita night with her so bad. Read more at New York Magazine (see also: above).

Short cuts.

The Best American Short Stories 2009: I already expressed my frustration with this series' continued recycling of its pet themes, and while that tradition unfortunately continues here, there is still plenty to celebrate. I usually like each volume just enough to read the next one (except for the fantastic Stephen King edited 2007 edition, which you should read for Richard Russo's "Horseman" at the very least), and that's the case here. I would give guest editor Alice Sebold a solid B+ for her efforts. My top five, in order of appearance: Sarah Shun-Lien Bynum's "Yurt," Adam Johnson's "Hurricanes Anonymous," Victoria Lancelotta's "The Anniversary Trip," (easily the best of the bunch) Annie Proulx's "Them Old Cowboy Songs," and Namwali Serpell's "Muzungu."

In living color.

A little over a month ago, I finally saw Wicked. I am eternally grateful to my great friend, Cassie, who scored us third row seats, and patted my shoulder during both "Defying Gravity," and "For Good," (otherwise known as The Two Songs That Will Make You Cry, Or Else You Have No Feelings). We sat behind a lovely pair of women who sobbed for the entire second act, and exchanged kind words with us upon the show's completion.

Recently read.

I'm a third of the way through The Best American Short Stories 2009. I have had a love/hate relationship with this anthology since I began following the series in 2005. For every exquisite slice of original craft, you get the latest hollow iteration of the series' pet themes. You can guarantee that every year The Best American Short Stories will contain: a Jewish grandfather and grandson (the grandson grows up in New York or Chicago, does something vaguely creative professionally, and learns a lesson about his heritage from the foreign born older man he never understood), lower-class black girls (who discover the grim reality of their sexuality, most likely in the Bronx), upper-middle class white women (who hate their suburban existences), and the Third World (where good things can happen).

Song for you.

TV time.

Caprica: I don't know; it's not grabbing me the way Battlestar did. It's a good show, very thoughtful, but also a bit slow. It lacks a certain sense of urgency, mystery, and danger. The Graystone family (Daniel, Amanda, and Zoe) easily interest me the most; I'm really enjoying the fucked-up, futuristic family drama that is their storyline (it helps that Eric Stolz, Paula Malcomson, and Alessandra Torresani are the best actors in the cast). I guess I've yet to decipher an overall sense of direction, or envision a way the multiple threads (the Soldiers of the One, Daniel's business, Tamara's Matrix adventure, Zoe) can and will tie together. I want to care about it more than I do.

I like.

I don't know why, but I really like that picture of the X-Men. It's probably because they haven't been a proper team in years, but there's something particularly bad-ass about Psylocke, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Magick, Angel, Wolverine, and X-23 charging off to battle. I pulled the image from IGN, where they've been counting down to Second Coming.

I'll be discussing Second Coming (the next X-Men crossover, and Messiah Complex sequel) as it unfolds, so expect to hear more about Marvel's merry mutants in the coming weeks. So far, I'm predicting that Nightcrawler will kick the bucket, Hope will somehow revive the dwindling mutant population, and the team will return to San Francisco.

Life is a Beach: Laguna Beach, S1, Ep. 4 "18 Candles"

If you haven't already, head to MTV and watch "18 Candles," the fourth episode of Laguna Beach. When you're done, come back and comment on the full recap, featured below!

Entertainment weekly.

The Hurt Locker: Easily the best movie I've seen since starting this blog. Kathryn Bigelow refuses to direct to the cheap seats, vigilantly patrolling the borders of the story lest it trend toward the melodramatic. Her direction strips away any and all distraction, focusing your attention solely on the work these soldiers do. She has no sweeping political statement with which to slap you across the face, merely the reality of these men and this war. It's a spare film, yet Bigelow employs her tools with expertise; you don't need to know the back-story (the film's one weakness - Evangeline Lilly), or see a stream of tears, to know these characters daily walk a knife's edge. I love this movie the way I love Children of Men, which is to say, a lot.

TV time.

A resounding "yes" to Parks & Recreation, currently the funniest comedy on NBC. Remember loving The Office because it struck a perfect balance between heartwarming and cynical? Remember when The Office was funny? This feels like that; I genuinely enjoy spending time with these people. Amy Poehler has shaped Leslie Knope into a capable idealist surrounded by doubtful eye-rollers whose chests nonetheless swell with pride upon witnessing her achievements. Despite their spats, the characters really like each other, making it all the easier to love them.

I can't explain.

You guys, I really want to see this movie. I can't articulate my reasons beyond "Amanda Seyfried looks gorgeous," and "I like that Snow Patrol song in the trailer." I swear this has nothing to do with Channing Tatum (who is permanently cross-eyed). It just looks so perfectly star-crossed and angst-filled. Maybe my subconscious is telling me I need a good cry? Am I that overtired? Did I eat something weird for dinner last night?

What is happening to me?

Short cuts.

Avatar: Beautiful pictures (Pandora at night in 3D? Yes, please). Cheesy dialogue ("I see you"). Unoriginal script occasionally bordering on the ridiculous (your Home-Tree is sitting on my Unobtainium!). About forty-five minutes too long (let's bond with another jungle creature). Glad I saw it, but I never need to see it again.

Dollhouse: That last episode sucked. I mean, magic spinal fluid? That was the whole point of Caroline? Not to mention, they successfully assassinated Boyd's character ("you're my family") faster than the Battlestar writers killed Tory's, which I didn't think possible. If you're going to make him the Surprise Villian, he needs to have an actual motivation. A big, unfortunate mess. That said, I'm still optimistic they can salvage what's left for the finale.

Song for you.

Changing My Mind

After finishing Zadie Smith's Changing My Mind this past Saturday, I can resolutely proclaim her my Favorite Living Writer. She rocks. She's smart, discerning, funny, careful in her choices but not afraid to dish out just desserts. I love her the most, and so I leave you with some of her (superior) words.

On Netherland:

" . . . to read this novel it to feel a powerful, somewhat dispiriting sense of recognition. It is perfectly done - in a sense, that's the problem. It's so precisely the image of what we have been taught to value in fiction that it throws that image into a kind of existential crisis . . ."

To Julianne Moore.

Thanks for being the best thing about A Single Man (a movie I quite liked; Tom Ford's elegant colors, paired with the classical score, resulted in a delicious gourmet meal for two of the five senses). Colin Firth's performance proved a lovely, aching depiction of composed desperation, but you gave us a life story in fifteen minutes, from Charlotte's staggered steps to her forced, hearty laugh (if only you had brushed the hair out of your eyes). How do you feel about the the ending? I'm caught between romantic and contrived.

Let's discuss; I'll bring the gin.

Welcome back.

Check the sidebar for the January playlist. It's a little dated (Flo Rida?); you can expect a fresher take in February. Still, highlights include: "One Week of Danger," "Kids," and "Heart's a Mess."

I'm halfway through Changing My Mind and The House of the Spirits, hopefully I can finish both over the next week or two. My list then consists of Let the Great World Spin, The Vagrants, Serena, and The Best American Short Stories 2009.

Finally, expect Life is a Beach to continue. I've been having a blast writing about Kristin, and company; I hope you've been enjoying my attempts at humor and sociological insight. Cabo awaits!

Life is a Beach: Laguna Beach, S1, Ep. 3 "Fast Cars & Fast Women"

If you haven't already, head to MTV and watch "Fast Cars & Fast Women," the third episode of Laguna Beach. When you're done, come back and comment on the full recap, featured below!

Fine in 09: Movies

No new releases made my Top 5 in 09. That's because I finally took American Film last semester, and got a chance to see movies made before 1990 (besides The Godfather, The Deer Hunter, and the other classics my dad calls me into the living room to watch, no matter the time of day he discovers them on cable).

The Long Goodbye: An unconventional approach to the film noir, set against the neon hues of 1970's Los Angeles. A gorgeous movie complete with femme fatale, gangsters, topless hippies, beach parties, loads of drugs, and random acts of violence. It's also the tale of an honorable man struggling to live by a seemingly outdated code in a world that's spiraled down into free-wheeling hedonism.

McCabe and Mrs. Miller: An unconventional Western, and the second Robert Altman entry on my list; his work blew me away. A cold, wet, dirty Northwestern town gets a little action when McCabe and Mrs. Miller set up the most pleasant whorehouse in film history. Altman refuses to judge his characters, and demands you do the same. A tragic love story, as well as an artful, unpretentious examination of community living.

All of this has happened before.

After watching "The Attic," the latest Dollhouse episode, I've come to a few conclusions about Joss Whedon. First, he loves The Matrix. "The Attic" wins the title of Most Obvious Whedon Matrix Homage: Adelle sends Echo, Victor, and Sierra into a computer program where they meet an old man who explains the plot, while their bodies reside in creepy, shrink-wrapped, goo-filled coffins* (I know). "The Attic" not only highlighted Joss' Neo boner, however, but also awakened me to numerous plot/thematic elements that have recurred throughout his body of work.

Fine in 09: Music

If you regularly visit this space, you know I enjoy music as much as the next pop-culture enthusiast, but rarely write about it. I like the music on my iPod because it sounds pleasant to me, not because I can eloquently explain its importance. Thus, I give you my five favorite downloads of 2009:

"Raindrops" (Basement Jaxx)
"U.R.A. Fever" (The Kills)
"Alejandro" (Lady Gaga)
"Can You Tell" (Ra Ra Riot)
"Samson" (Regina Spektor)

According to this list, I like: alternative bands on the "yes, please" side of pop/electronic (see also: MGMT, Passion Pit, Phoenix), songs featured on Gossip Girl ("U.R.A. Fever" brilliantly characterized Serena in "All About My Brother"), Top 40 Female Solo Artists, alternative bands who use string instruments (see also: The Airborne Toxic Event), and Female Solo Artists Who Play the Piano (see also: Adele, Imogen Heap).

Of this year's entries, I have the most to say about Lady Gaga. If you've seen the "LoveGame," video you probably thought (as I did) "How original, another Madonna impersonator dressing like a cop and making out with a woman." We've seen that desperate sort of self-objectification before; it's tired. If you've seen the "Bad Romance," video, however, you probably thought (as I did) "Holy shit!" That video is a beautiful, distorted Dr. Suess story boiling over with Dark Phoenix rage. For those four minutes alone, I am glad I gave Lady Gaga a second chance.

The Mean Seasons.

Colin the Pig: It's time, Rose Red. The crisis is here. Now is the moment. They need you to step in and avert a tragedy.

Rose Red: And I need you to please for once shut the hell up!

Fine in 09: TV

Instead of listing my five favorite TV shows, I've listed my five favorite TV characters of the past year. Working with individual characters expands the playing field, and makes things much more interesting/fun.

April (In Treatment): It will be a shame when Alison Pill doesn't win an Emmy for her work on this show. The structure of In Treatment (each episode covers one half-hour therapy session) demands the actors do little besides talk to each other. The writers also presented Pill with a defensive, stubborn character, unwilling to tell Paul (and the audience) directly the troubling details of her life (much less her cancer diagnosis). By season's end, April stopped therapy in order to focus on her physical health (to Paul's disappointment) but her renewed will to live was a triumph worth celebrating.

Cameron (Modern Family): The funniest character of the 09-10 season, Cameron's quiet confidence allows him to hilariously comment on the insanity of his boyfriend's family ("There's a fish that carries its babies around in its mouth. That fish would take one look at Mitchel's relationship with his mother and say, 'that's messed up.'"). He loves football, clowning, Diana Ross, and debuted his adopted daughter to "The Circle of Life," but he'll also kick your ass for messing with his loved ones.

Dr. Claire Saunders (Dollhouse): Amy Acker has only appeared once during Dollhouse's second season, but she left a lasting impression. Her character (a disfigured Doll programmed to serve as the in-house physician) raised fascinating moral ambiguities regarding the Dollhouse's work. Does a programmed persona deserve the chance to live once that personality inhabits a real person? Clarie's ongoing search for self (are any of her thoughts/feelings authentic, or just part of a computer program?) made her the most compelling character on the show.

Don Draper (Mad Men): Yes, he's an asshole, a horrible husband, a cheat, has a temper, regularly ignores his children, and tends to bail on people when the going gets tough. The show works because sometimes you don't want to root for Don. When he dismisses Sal with the homophobic "you people," or yells at Peggy to relieve his own stress, we'd really like to punch him in the face. The writers aren't afraid to show us Don's dark side, making his victories (the moments he connects with his kids or recognizes his co-workers' talents, his brilliant plotting in the finale) all the more memorable. Plus, the man exhales charisma.

Rachel Barry (Glee): She's annoying, overly ambitious, self-centered, and occasionally lacks basic social graces, but don't ever forget that Rachel Barry cares. She cares about her team, even if that team includes people like Quinn (and Kurt), who spend their time making her miserable. She cares about rising above and performing to the best of her ability. Rachel isn't afraid to stand on stage and sing like the world is ending. She might "want everything too much," but that doesn't stop her from pursuing her goals with a relentless (occasionally manic) vigor.

Honorable Mentions: Peggy Olsen (Mad Men), Kurt Hummel and Quinn Fabray (Glee), and Adelle Dewitt (Dollhouse).

Life is a Beach: Laguna Beach, S1, Ep. 2 "The Bonfire"

If you haven't already, head to MTV and watch "The Bonfire," the second episode of Laguna Beach. When you're done, come back and comment on the full recap, featured below!

Fine in 09: Books

Below, you'll find my five favorite books of 2009 ("of 2009" meaning I read them this year; most of my recent reads were published previously). Choosing just five was painful, but I'm pleased with the final outcome.

The Corrections (Jonanthan Franzen): "The strength of The Corrections is Franzen's ability to completely actualize all five of his chief protagonists, and weave their narratives together into a seamless tapestry . . . All five of the Lamberts are selfish, annoying assholes who make horrible decisions at the expense of their family members, yet you can't help but love them . . . It's just a really impressive thing to watch an author juggle so many people and so many plots and make it look effortless."

Lit (Mary Karr): " . . . Karr has delivered a story so brave and honest you want to call her up and thank her for it . . . This is the story of one woman's struggle to let go of her self-hatred and become a person capable of love. That she enters the narrative plagued by inner demons proves an understatement, that she emerges from it a whole person suggests a miracle."

Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro): "Reading this book is like taking your heart out of your chest, caressing it lovingly for a few hours, and then unceremoniously smashing it to pieces. On the surface, it's such a quiet, delicate thing . . . [Kathy] diverts our attention away from pressing existential matters toward smaller moments of emotional intimacy. It's only after you've finished the novel that you realize those moments pack a more forceful punch than any discussion of clones and organ donations."

The Tenderness of Wolves (Stef Penney): "Stef Penney strikes the perfect balance between intricately complex plotting and strong character work. The entire cast exists in three dimensions . . . Mrs. Ross, in particular, is a triumph. The plot (which begins as a murder mystery) grabs your attention, but the characters are the real reason for sticking around."

Unaccustomed Earth (Jhumpa Lahiri): Easily my favorite book of 2009. Lahiri describes with an uncanny ease the indescribable intricacies of everyday life. The way you feel about your parents, your lovers, your siblings - she captures those feelings with a precision that escapes the best of us. Reading this book was "like sitting quietly on a cloud" (on Christmas morning) (while wearing your favorite pair of flannel pajamas and sipping a cup of hot chocolate). I'm lucky to have read it.

Honorable Mentions: Less Than Zero (Brett Easton Ellis) and Call Me by Your Name (Andre Aciman).

Song for you.

Because Rachel Barry rules.

TV time.

Dollhouse "A Love Supreme": Can Alan Tudyk guest star every week? He's made Alpha into the Dollhouse version of the Joker - chaotic, unreliable, and menacing, yet also fun, dashing, and poignant. He brings an immediate sense of danger to any story. He also makes a good foil for Echo; while Alpha succumbs to his multiple personalities, Echo fights to control hers, thus maintaining a sense of autonomy. I like the idea that Echo (originally intended as a blank, Active persona) has developed into a functioning person (even if she's merely a composite of all the people she's been), and that it was Alpha who ignited her "awakening." It explains why Echo is more "special" than the other Dolls - they didn't experience a composite event, so they haven't been triggered. When Echo tells Adelle "I'm like [Alpha]" we understand her unique role in the series' mythology, and thus why we're supposed to care about her.

Glee: I loved "Sectionals" upon initial viewing, but the further I stray, the more cracks I see in the pavement. The Will/Emma final moment didn't work for me. Will hasn't done anything to deserve Emma's affection; he's still kind of a douche, and incredibly patronizing toward everyone around him (the kids, Terri etc.). It might have something to do with Matthew Morrison's acting choices, but I regularly want to punch him in the face. That explains why my Sue affection has only grown. The more she demoralizes him, the happier I am (her comment about his lesbian hair = priceless). I want her to metaphorically beat Will to a pulp, I just don't want it to happen at the kids' expense. Nothing beats Rachel performing "Don't Rain On My Parade." It's the perfect song for her because it will always rain on Rachel's parade. She admittedly wants "everything too much." People who want that badly, who try that hard, get penalized for their passion - it hurts harder when they fall, and the Glee kids are no exception. As Will says, "sometimes being special sucks," and that's a lot more compelling than two adults in their early-thirties acting out their latent Dawson Leery/Joey Potter fantasies.

To Emily Blunt.

Thanks for being the best thing about Sunshine Cleaning (a movie I wanted to like a lot more than I did). I believed in Norah more than I anyone else; you managed to make a complete person out of a character sketch. I wish they had given you a better ending (road trip of self-discovery = lame). Was Norah a lesbian? I get that no one wanted to SPELL IT OUT, but you can't let a girl eat sexy candy off your neck and then not talk about it. You did good work, but you deserve better material.

That's all.

Beccamendations.

My apologies for disappearing last week. I didn't plan a hiatus, but life demanded one nonetheless. I hope you all had a pleasant weekend.

During my absence, I discovered Beccamendations a blog written by my friend Becca Marsh. I met Becca at Columbia, where her impeccable grammar helped to redeem my early attempts at copy-writing. She also loves Jacob Clifton, so you know she has good taste. Her Glee recaps (Gleecaps!) are a pure delight in which she defends Terri Shuester's life choices and Finn Hudson's dancing ability with equal vigor (go read them, I'll wait). I particularly enjoyed her analysis of the Shuester marriage:

"He's not the man he thought he would be, and that's why he's here. He never left town, never became a star, never had an audience worth bragging about. He never got that special thing that everyone coveted – unless you count Terri. She's still the head cheerleader in his mind, beautiful, pristine, forever young. She's the high school triumph he managed to hold on to, but a trophy by any other name is still a trophy . . . This marriage works because he doesn't feel good about himself."

Life is a Beach: Laguna Beach, S1, Ep. 1 "A Black & White Affair"

If you haven't already, get yourself to MTV and watch "A Black & White Affair," the first episode of Laguna Beach. When you're done, come back and comment on the full recap, featured below!

TV time.

The City: Is anything more awesome than a fleet of synchronized town cars dispensing brightly-clad, bossy fashion ladies like a platoon of real-life Miranda Priestlys? I also loved Erin's refusal to leave Olivia and Joe Zee alone on-camera; she was busting into their scenes like a tornado ravaging a small mid-western town. A good episode, but not a great finale. It lacked any sense of closure, and the cliffhangers didn't work (we already know Whitney debuted a collection at fashion week, and who cares if Olivia leaves Elle?). Kelly Cutrone line of the night: "You really want to stand there like Lucy and Ethel in some kind of bad Stephen King film?" I don't even know what that means. Also: does Roxie own a shirt that covers her bra? She must have the most revealing professional wardrobe in existence.

Glee: I'm relieved to have the pregnancy conspiracy revealed, but Will and Terri's confrontation demanded a complete shift in style and tone. A well-played scene, but I like to feel happy at the end of a Glee episode, not depressed. That's probably an immature response ("it's different, so I don't like it"), but it's hard to feel good about an episode that also revealed the depths of Rachel's insecurity and mania. That girl lives on the edge of completely batshit crazy, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I did love Quinn blackmailing Sue, and Sue's reluctant admiration of it.

The Hills: Kristin and Justin's "first appearence" at the reunion special was a joke. Kristin couldn't have looked more uncomfortable; she refused to look at Justin, or answer any questions about their "relationship." Dear producers: Kristin Cavallari rocks. Stop feeding her premeditated storylines, and let her do her thing. Her "thing" includes being massively appealing and a natural source of entertainment. The reunion proved an utter waste of time (besides Holly admitting that she still likes to get wasted). If Heidi and Spencer aren't going to show up, at least don't make every other castmember talk about whether or not they'd make good parents.

Song for you.

Also: the latest piece of Lady Gaga perfection.

Yay!

Yesterday, the New York Times named Mary Karr's Lit one of the 10 Best Books of 2009! Seeing as I work for her publisher, and recently finished the book, this was an especially exciting announcement.

While perusing the reviews for this year's list, I also stumbled upon Jonathan Lethem's piece on Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs. I haven't read much of either author, but this quote perfectly expresses my own frustration with most September 11 fiction:

"The book is also set in the autumn of 2001, a fact Moore has the patience to barely deploy for 200 pages, and then only with a deft sleight of hand that will make readers reflect on the ways so many other treatments of this (unfinished) passage in American life have resembled heart surgery performed with a croquet mallet."

Well said, Mr. Lethem.

It's a long December.

(We'll get to these crazy kids in a minute)

Hi! Welcome to December at (Title Pending). It's been a while since I've done a status report, and I have some exciting plans in the works for this lovely, little space, so today I'm taking a break from regularly scheduled programming to address some of the changes you'll soon encounter.

In the sidebar, you'll discover my December playlist. Every month, I'll post a new playlist, composed of fourteen songs arranged in a specific order I find pleasing. This month, I journey back a year to bring you the sweet sounds of Leona Lewis, and the early efforts of Lady Gaga. These fourteen songs represent my favorite downloads of 2008; highlights include "Sometime Around Midnight" and "Time to Pretend."

Over Thanksgiving, Colleen asked me what was up with the posts comprised of quotes from comics/books ("Are they about your feelings or something?"). The quote posts do not have anything to do with my feelings, they're simply quotes I like from things I've read. I find that format works well with comics, since I can include a juxtaposing image. The X-Men posts have been an homage to Grant Morrison's New X-Men, while the Fables posts feature a highlight from the most recent issue.

Join the party: if you're a regular reader (thanks!), leave a comment. I'd like to get a sense of the readership: who are you, what features do you like/dislike? Are there shows I should be watching, books I should be reading? I'm totally down for constructive criticism.

NEW FEATURE: You guys, I'm so excited about this. The City and The Hills wrap tonight, and Glee goes on hiatus in a few weeks, meaning my TV roster is about to drop down to Modern Family and the remainder of Dollhouse. Instead of scouring my cable box for shiny, new offerings, however, I've found something better. Effective this Saturday, join me for a new, weekly feature: Life Is a Beach. That's right, I'm going to recap Laguna Beach Season One. I can't wait! Just look at Lo's hair in the above photograph. I can't think of a better way to brighten a New York winter.

Whether you're a new reader, or an old reader, get ready for more books, movies, comics, music, and MTV It Girls at (Title Pending). I had a blast writing the first 70 posts, here's to the next 70 (or 700). I hope you'll join me.

Into the Wardrobe.

"A moment later she found that she was standing in the middle of a wood at night-time with snow under her feet and snowflakes falling through the air. Lucy felt a little frightened, but she felt very inquisitive and excited as well. She looked back over her shoulder and there, between the dark tree-trunks, she could still see the open doorway of the wardrobe . . . 'I can always get back if anything goes wrong,' thought Lucy."

See you all in December.

TV time.

The City: Is next week really the season finale? Tuesday's episode dropped any lingering personal life plots to focus solely on the girls at work. Instead of more boy drama, we get Whitney arranging a photo shoot for her fashion line, and Erin relying (once again) on Olivia for help with the Today Show. I don't buy Kelly Cutrone's mistrust of Roxie, it's a fairly obvious play for drama the show doesn't need. Whitney and Roxie make fine TV having friendly cake fights. Erin and Olivia's storyline, on the other hand, has started to drag. Erin doesn't like Olivia because Olivia gets to associate herself with Elle without having to actually work there, unlike Erin who busts her ass and knows what she's doing. Olivia is clearly not an Assistant Accessories Editor, she's a socialite getting to play one on TV, and that's the real source of Erin's hostility toward her.

Glee: Hooray for Tina finally getting showcased! She did well with "True Colors." I quite liked that performance, with the cast sitting on stools wearing bright, solid colored t-shirts like a Gap ad from 1994. I also liked "Imagine" (though it was kind of rude for our kids to interrupt the other school's performance). The myriad pregnancy stories needed to conclude yesterday. Dianna Agron as Quinn has continuously impressed me, but at this point, I'd just like everyone to know that Puck is her baby's father, and that Terri isn't pregnant. I'm also not a fan of Kurt turning into a scheming asshole, what with him embarrassing Rachel in order to get Finn's attention. The plotting didn't do it for me this week, thankfully the music did.

The Hills: Probably the worst episode in the history of this show. It's like no one involved can be bothered to care about the relative credibility anymore. Kristin looks horribly bored, as though she just realized she signed her public image over to a team of producers who are desperate for ratings, and capable of paying her rent as long as she and Stacie make out. I mean, when Audrina (of all people!) is bailing on your reality show because it doesn't "depict her real life," you know you've got problems. Instead of inserting Kristin into this world, and then stepping back and letting her develop relationships and rivalries on her own, the producers have story-boarded her entire "character" arc. If she had any sense, the above photo would feature her calling her agent, asking him/her to get her the hell out of there.

Obsessed.

If Jakob Karr doesn't win this season of So You Think You Can Dance, I am going to pissed (further evidence: this).

Lit

I came to Lit having never heard of Mary Karr before I started working at her publishing house. I picked up this book because I heard her name around the office, not because of a desire to read her flavor of memoir. To be honest, as I started to follow Karr on her journey toward sobriety, I wondered if there wasn't something a little self-indulgent about the form, something a little gross about tossing you and your family's innards out into the world for everyone to see. Sure, Karr delivers an entertaining story, meticulously crafted, and in one of the most original voices I've ever read (my one nitpick: her tendency to end sentences with a preposition), but I still felt like a stranger had just approached me on the street wearing underwear over their pants. It felt inappropriate.

(Remember how I said I was a big fan of people getting over themselves? Remind me of that the next time I write off an entire literary genre, particularly one that's given us everything from St. Augustine's Confessions to Tobias Wolff's This Boy's Life, as "inappropriate.")

By the time I finished the book, I was, of course, eating my words, since Karr has delivered a story so brave and honest you want to call her up and thank her for it (instead, I hugged my mom). This is the story of one woman's struggle to let go of her self-hatred and become a person capable of love. That she enters the narrative plagued by inner demons proves an understatement, that she emerges from it a whole person suggests a miracle. Her story triggered in me a reaction I can only describe as religious.

That Karr dares to write about religion reveals her courage. How many literary writers in contemporary America would write about their conversion to Catholicism? It's easy to view anyone who professes faith in Jesus Christ as a cartoon character willing to vote for Sarah Palin. That kind of thinking is easy, but also lazy. If Lit does anything, it teaches us that thinking, progressive individuals can find hope, comfort, and love in the arms of the Church. Over and over, Karr recounts her wariness of religion, and her refusal to bend a knee in prayer. She's as skeptical and agnostic as anyone, until a suicide attempt leads her elsewhere. That "elsewhere" ends up being a quiet space filled with peace and acceptance, a sacred place where the adversarial voices are wiped away. Reading Lit brought me to a not dissimilar place, and for that, I am grateful.

The Life and Times of Clark Kent.

"There's so little time left now. So many things I still haven't done. I need this day. The time-traveler Samson told me I'd complete 12 legendary super challenges before my death. And by my reckoning I've only accomplished five. Time to get serious."

I hope you all had a super Thanksgiving.

Blurgh, argh!

Remember how I said I was done with Dollhouse? I lied. As soon as I canceled my season pass, Joss Whedon and Co. had to write an episode that a) featured very little Echo (and no Ballard) and b) made excellent use of the supporting cast, particularly Sierra, Victor, and Topher. I've said it before: this show only interests me when the story focuses on the moral ambiguities of the Dollhouse's existence. When the writers drop the Missions of the Week and start asking the hard questions, the viewers always win.

"Belonging" asks what happens when one of the Dolls never made the conscious decision to enter the Dollhouse. As speculated, Sierra never chose to become an Active, but was instead enslaved by a high paying client, who manipulated the staff into believing they were doing her a service. The show also becomes more believable whenever the writers acknowledge the Dollhouse's dark underbelly. That's what they did here, and the result is the best episode since "Epitaph One." It helps that Dichen Lachman works wonders as Sierra. She somehow makes her default Active persona ten times more intriguing and sympathetic than Eliza Dushku.

Franz Kranz (Topher) also hit a home run, as Topher begins to question the morality of his occupation (programming the Actives with their various personalities). His actions in this episode indicate he may possess some moral compass, even though Adelle tells him he views the Dolls as "toys." Since we know the knowledge of what he's done will eventually drive him insane, his growing moral awareness makes him a tragic figure, as opposed to a grossly unaware one. Against my better judgement, I think I'm in this for the long haul (it actually won't be that long, since the series is ending in December). Even if we only get one or two more episodes as good as "Belonging," the journey will have been worth it.

Song for you.

I used to knock Lady Gaga for being a typical attention whore. She initially came across like a desperately insecure college freshmen, the kind of girl that glued feathers to her eyes and had threesomes in order to prove how much she didn't care (that girl really just wanted to wear jeans and bang a lacrosse player). These days, however, she has taken her particular brand of "out there" to a whole new level, and I am loving it. Instead of "look how different I am/please like me!" she's saying "I feel kind of weird and wild all the time/it's totally okay if you feel that way too."

TV time.

The City: While The Hills has started to feel dated and forced, the adventures of Whitney, Roxie and company feel fresh and authentic. It helps that Whitney and Roxie are actually friends, and that Whitney really is trying to start a fashion line. The major fault of this show's Los Angeles counterpart was the producers' decision not to acknowledge the cast's celebrity status on camera. Here, Whitney doesn't have to pretend she works at People's Revolution, since Kelly really is helping her launch a career as a designer. Furthermore, Whitney has improved leaps and bounds in her role as the series' star. Her obvious disdain for her pretentious blind date, and the look on her face when Zach (Roxie's date) showed up to the bar with six other girls, were priceless, and the kind of moments she hasn't allowed herself before now. She's finally started to let her personality show, and that has made all the difference.

Glee: "Ballad" was easily my least favorite episode to date. On the plus side, I loved Brittany's throwaway moment of hilarity ("I bet the duck is in the hat"), and Matthew Morrison is probably the only cast member who can match Lea Michele vocally (leading to their beautiful rendition of "Endless Love"). My major concern with "Ballad" was the horrendous characterization of nearly every female character. I found Will's performance of "Young Girl/Don't Stand So Close To Me" utterly insulting, as if his magic singing penis could actually reduce both Rachel and Emma to complete doe-eyed idiocy. His "all these girls are so fragile and crazy" comments didn't help either; they just made him look like a douche. The constant use of the word "crazy" to describe any woman with either strong emotions, or a mind of her own, was gross. For a show that's usually forward-thinking, this was a major step back. Welcome to 2009, Glee writers, you can no longer shrug off a woman's point of view as hormonal hysterics.

The Hills: Is Kristin thinner now than during her Laguna Beach days? I can't get over how long her neck looks. Anyway, popular culture continues to dismantle the feminist movement piece by piece, as Heidi plots to stop taking her birth control in order to "surprise" Spencer with a baby. Her seduction methods include cooking him pasta and dressing like a hooker. This storyline is so obviously fake it's a joke. You can practically see Heidi reading off the cue cards as she teases Spencer with promises of "dessert." On top of that mess, Kristin and Jayde proceed to spend the episode flouncing around L.A. calling the other "crazy" to whoever will listen (or is getting paid to pretend like they care). Though Canadian Jayde telling Kristin to "go back where [she] came from" (um, Malibu?) was an unintentional highlight.

Modern Family: I didn't laugh out loud this week, what the hell? This might be another show I stop writing about, since I never have much to say about it besides "it's good." It's hard to write about a comedy without simply listing the things I found funny; there's not as much to analyze besides whether or not the jokes worked. In that vein, my favorite part of the episode was Alex convincing Luke that Jay was terminally ill. That girl loves to fuck around with her siblings, with consistently hilarious results.

Season of the Witch.

Ozma: She left without warning. No hint of her intentions, no word on how long she might be away . . . what Frou Totenkinder has done constitutes abandonment of her post, in a time of extreme danger . . . the Dark One has made it clear . . . that he is our enemy, and desires our destruction.

Then We Came to the End

It probably didn't help that I started reading this book at the same time I got assigned to my first cubicle. Anyone who has ever worked in an office will recognize members of the cast: the gossip nobody likes (Karen), the storyteller everybody likes (Benny), the second-in-command everybody hates (Joe), the unappreciated hidden talent (Jim), the not-so-secret illicit lovers (Amber and Larry), the aloof boss (Lynn) etc. Ferris' characters get coffee, talk shit, slack off, go to lunch, make photocopies, and generally live generic, uneventful lives. In hindsight, I can understand Ferris' reasons for writing the first third of the book the way he did, but initially, the act of reading Then We Came to the End made me feel like a character in Then We Came to the End, as though I also led a directionless life lacking in substance and excitement.

Everything changed when I reached the Lynn Mason interlude. For the first time, Ferris takes you inside the mind of his most isolated character. The rest of the cast lives in awe/fear of her; the rumor of her cancer spreads from scene to scene. Unlike the rest of the cast, however, we come to know Lynn. She hates hospitals, and has an on/off relationship with a lawyer named Martin. She lives alone and likes The Simpsons. The night before she was scheduled to have a mastectomy, she went to the mall and tried on underwear. She drank wine. She drove to Martin's office, but didn't go inside. She lived a full, devastatingly real life.

With that realization, the book's opening makes perfect sense. All of Ferris' characters live devastatingly real lives to which their coworkers seldom have access. With Lynn's interlude, Ferris raises the stakes. I wanted to shake Joe for even considering not asking Lynn about her illness. Suddenly, I cared. And then, right when I became invested, right when I knew every one's first names, Tom Mota showed up dressed in a clown costume. As soon as you start to take Ferris seriously, he reminds you not to take him too seriously. He reminds you to have fun, and you do. When I reached The End, I'd ridden an emotional roller coaster. It ended up being one hell of a ride.

I love these people so much.

Tonight's installment was maybe the best Glee yet (its only competition would be the Kristin Chenoweth episode, which isn't a fair fight, since that one had . . . Kristin Chenoweth). From the moment Brittany explained that recipes confused her (I am loving poor, stupid Brittany. Between the recipe comment, raising her left instead of her right hand, and her genuine friendship with Becky, she stole the show), I knew I was in for a treat. "Wheels" had humor, pathos, deft characterization, great music, and best of all, no Terri Schuester or Ken/Emma weirdness.

Highlights included: Kurt and his dad, Kurt singing "Defying Gravity," and Kurt in general. I'm so appreciative of the writing staff's delicate handling of this character. It's not very often a prime time show portrays gay teens as anything other than an After School Special or Jack McFarland. I'm really glad Kurt's dad stuck around after the "Single Ladies" episode; their complicated, respectful, loving relationship is easily turning into one of the series' emotional centerpieces.

I also found Sue's story a fair presentation of the issues it raised. I worried the writers were going to make her a bigger monster, but thankfully, they didn't. She actually raised some relevant points. When does acknowledging a student's difference stop being accommodating and start being patronizing? I thought Will could have toned down the "this is so hard for Artie" comments. Artie was eventually able to voice his own concerns, and the other students were willing to listen; we didn't need Will slow clapping every time Artie opened his mouth.

Finally, I'm loving the Love Square (Rachel, Finn, Quinn, and Puck). They all have moments of unpleasantness, but at the end of the day, each of them cares about the other three. Quinn and Puck's food fight was adorable; the actors have great chemistry. As for Rachel, she's my favorite character (I'm just as surprised as you). The girl tries her hardest, every time, and puts the team first when needed. Lea Michele's (phenomenal) voice helps too. Just a great episode all around, regardless of "Defying Gravity" (which made me cry as soon as Kurt started getting nervous about the high note). Good show, Glee, good show.

Song(s) for you.

Now, for something a little different:

Leighton Meester sings as well as she acts. Her version of "Bette Davis Eyes" is a delight, but sadly I can't find it on YouTube.

Cheryl Cole is a judge on The X-Factor, England's American Idol. "Fight For This Love" is her solo debut; give it a chance, it gets better as it goes.

Lady Gaga's video for "Bad Romance" is totally, beautifully insane.

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce!

My seven favorite characters from the Mad Men finale:

Roger Sterling: Roger is an asshole, but he's also suave, capable, and the most well-connected man on the show. I knew he wouldn't throw Bert and Don to the wolves, but I was glad he made them work for his participation.

Lane Pryce: "Happy Christmas!" indeed. I'm glad Lane didn't end up as Don's Money Minded Season Three Rival (see also: Duck Phillips, Season Two), but an eventual co-conspirator and partner in Don, Roger, and Bert's new agency. He's the newest addition to the cast, and the character we know the least; I'm interested to see where the writers take him.

Joan Harris: I yelled out loud when she walked into the office (my roommates' response "Are you all right?"). Glad to see the best entrance of the night go to the most deserving character. None of the higher-ups would be anywhere without Joan's savvy and absolute competence.

Sally Draper: The Draper divorce was definitely not one of the most awesome things in this episode, but Sally calling out both her parents on their bullshit was excellent. Her line to Don ("You say things and you don't mean them") was right on target, as was her realization that Betty had a lot more to do with the separation than she was willing to admit.

Trudy Campbell: "There's every kind of sandwich in there. And a cake!" Who knew Trudy would be my favorite spouse of the season? She can totally come for cocktails with me and Joan.

Don Draper and Peggy Olsen: I love them both so much. They really are the only characters that understand each other, and Don's admittance that he desperately needs Peggy around was a wonderful touch (and well over-due after all the shit he's given her). His speech about being a person whose life unexpectedly, fundamentally changed was a shot to the heart. I could watch Jon Hamm and Elizabeth Moss have quiet conversation scenes all day. So good to see the best/most interesting relationship on the show get the attention it merits.

Let's hope the new status quo launches the series into the 60's proper with continued badass shenanigans from our favorite advertising executives. My Season Four wish list also includes: Sal. See you next summer, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce; I miss you too much already.

The Prime of Mr. Erik Lehnsherr.

Magneto: I'll show you a world where there is no strife . . . where no one has to hide in the shadows, quaking at the sound of jets overhead. And you'll turn to me and finally you'll say . . . 'It's really so much nicer without them, isn't it, Erik?'

Ernst: Nobody likes what you're doing, Magneto. It's boring and old-fashioned. Martha says it's all coming to an end and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.

Magneto: To stand the Earth on its head is hardly the work of an afternoon!

Ernst: Well, Martha says you waited too long. You should have stayed as Mister Xorn - now you're going to die.

I miss this.

Today is one of those perfect fall days that make my heart ache with memory. It's not too hot, it's not too cold. As a rower, you don't expect this weather in November. In November, you expect snow. Some days though, it's nice. You wear shorts, maybe a long-sleeve t-shirt. The sun feels good on your face. The air is still, quiet. The water barely moves. The coxswain doesn't yell too loud; the fall season is over. Days like today are gravy, dessert; they're another day you don't climb onto an erg and prepare to die. Days like today are nice.

Today, I wish I was back at Holy Cross, putting the boat in the water on Lake Quinsig. Bratton would be talking about farts or facial hair, making us laugh. Adam would be wearing sunglasses, even when the dark comes early, changing his clothes over and over between every piece, leading by example. Erick might crack a smile, briefly, before setting his mind to the task at hand, reminding us of our purpose. We would probably be waiting for Jimmy, speeding down 290 on his way from ROTC, stretching himself thin to stay a part of our little family.

Today would be one of those days I look around and feel love for my teammates, my brothers, for the boat, and the water, the feeling of the eight us pushing and pulling together, as one. Today, we would take the rating from an 18 to a 36 and stomp the shit out of our competition. We would get off the water flushed and tired and at peace. Today, we would be reminded of why we fight, why we log the long hours, why we sacrifice so much for each other. Today would be a good day.